Chlorine Headaches

A waste of time. I remember when I loved life guarding. Now that's all I can think of it as, a waste of time. Back when I enjoyed it, I was guarding at Boy Scout Camps. One was on a pristine lake in northern Wisconsin, Bear Paw Scout Camp (http://www.bpsc.org/). I was also employed at Camp Maluhia in Maui, HI (I know, it was a hard job but someone had to do it) and this past summer I was in charge of my own waterfront at Camp Rokilio in Kiel, WI.

Guarding at these camps was a blast. Outdoors all summer long, the other staff members became my brothers, and I was able to teach eager children how to swim. Those summers were about only one thing for the scouts, the staff, and myself: having fun, which is precisely what I did.

So when did I turn into such a pessimistic prick about doing a job that is supposed to save people's lives? When I began working at an indoor pool where everyone knows how to swim and I am employed to be an insurance policy.

What is the value of human life....apparently it's $6.50 an hour. Which if one does the math of 24 hours in a day, 168 hours in a week, 8,736 hours in a year, with an estimate lifespan of 90 years: leaves you with 786,240 hours in your life. Now factor in the $6.50 an hour I get paid, that estimates to a human life value of 5,110,560 American dollars...so an American's life is currently worth about half of a European's right now with the exchange rate factored in. That cost is just about right according to what my economics professor told the class earlier today, as we were talking about the economic value of performing an expensive colon test. "It's disturbing to think people do this, but they have put a value on human life, and it's somewhere between 1 and 7 million dollars."

I really am not much of a numbers person, but as I was guarding today I was contemplating the whole idea of life guarding, from the cost to personnel performing this responsible task.

I began guarding when I was 14...sweet Jesus. To think, I was no more than four years older than some of the 'kids' I was supposed to be keeping alive. Even now as a 22-year-old college graduate who last summer had to perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation on a middle aged woman, I question my ability to really save some one's life. (The woman I did CPR on lived, however not without the help of a volunteer fireman who just happen to be there at the time and wasn't shitting his pants like I was, and the AED that was on site helped too).

Experiences like that one help keep things in perspective. Today, I had another one of those experiences. No one drown, or even came close to it, but Don scared me more than I would have liked him to. Don was cognitively aware, yet mentally handicapped...wait, let me wikipedia that to make sure that is politically correct...mentally challenged, I guess, is the preferred term. He came in with his roommate who was also his care taker. They were having a blast. Don swam by himself for a bit while his friend did some lap swimming, which made me watch him even more carefully than I already was. Every once in a while, Don would lean far enough forward so that his personal floatation device couldn't keep his face out of the water. He made me flinch plenty of times. But he always pulled himself out with a humongous grin on face and a laughter I won't soon forget.

How amazing. Simply splashing his face in the water brought him so much joy. If I went to the pool tomorrow and had as much fun doing what he was doing tonight, patrons would surely ask, "does he have special needs?" If only we could all let go of our inhibitions and have as much fun as Don was...

Watching Don have fun reoriented many values that have drifted from me as of late. The first: have fun! No matter what the situation or what people might think, have fun. Don didn't care that he wasn't like the rest of those in the pool. He was having a blastie splashing around and enjoying the weightlessness the water provides. He was simply enjoying life.

Second, even the simplest, most mundane of tasks are important, such as life guarding. As soon as Don entered the pool, my eyes locked onto him. I scanned the other patrons in the pool every few minutes, but Don needed my utmost attention. When he entered the pool deck, I removed my sandals and got ready to jump in at any moment. In practicality, I should do that this with every patron. Don helped me realize that.

There are always moments in our life that help orient our decision making. We need to keep ourselves aware them. They can come a mile and minute, or only once every so often. But if we miss them, they are gone. I wrote this one down to try and make up for the hundreds that I've forgotten over the years.