Trackside Seating at Your Own Risk

This past Saturday night, I had the opportunity to witness a sport as sports should be played. If the following video doesn't explain it all, I don't know what will:

I would try to explain the rules of this fantastic event but in all honesty, I'm not 100% on how it all works myself. Here's the basic premise. Two teams of scantily clad women are on the floor at a time. One skater from each team is designated the "jammer" and wears a star on her helmet as an indicator of such. The object of the game is to get your team's jammer through the pack of both teams' blockers.

It's obvious why every heterosexual male should fall love with this event. Chics in mini-skirts, lace panties, and other unique uniforms skating around and knocking each other over is entertaining to everyone, male, female, straight or gay. But besides that aspect of the sport, I personally love the fact that this sport is pure fun.

No million-dollar contracts. No overly inflated egos. No huge corporate sponsors...well, some local Madison area businesses, but it's all in the spirit of promoting and contributing to the sport. This league is what sporting should be: FUN. No one takes themselves too seriously. All of these ladies have day jobs, and many have families and lead perfectly "normal" lives outside of that ring. But in it they are death machines. They use fake names like the Vaudeville Vixens' Chop Suzzy #311, Octopusy #007 and my favorite Juke Boxx #A18. Or the Reservoir Dolls' rock'n jammers Mouse #4 and Rosetta Stoned #420, and the ridiculously gorgeous Little Bo Bleep # #@!% and their coach Busta Crimes.

Those were my two favorite teams, the Vixen's and Res Dolls. However, a friend I was with had a sister who played on the Unholy Rollers and they ended up rocking the shit out of the Res Dolls. The Vaudeville Vixens ended up setting a new Mad Rollin Dolls league record high score of 164 points. For a full recap of the night's events.

Here's what the referee saw that night:

I could go on and on about this Saturday night's rollin rumble. Instead, I'm going to post their 2009 season schedule in hopes that you'll make it to the Madison area to see this fantasticness for yourself.

• Saturday 10 January 6PM: Veterans Memorial Coliseum @ Alliant Energy Center
• Sunday 1 February 1PM: Veterans Memorial Coliseum @ Alliant Energy Center
• Saturday March 6PM: The Exhibition Hall @ Alliant Energy Center
• Saturday 21 March 6PM: The Arena Building @ Alliant Energy Center
• Sunday 5 April 3PM: Veterans Memorial Coliseum @ Alliant Energy Center
• Saturday 25 April 6PM: The Exhibition Hall @ Alliant Energy Center
• Saturday 16 May 6PM: The Exhibition Hall @ Alliant Energy Center

If you're thinking about it, message me and I'll join you.... gotta go cheer on my Vixens.

Oh and I can't complete this blog without thanking the man that showed me the glory that is roller derby. Thanks Albino! (Check him out this Friday as he does his 3rd Annual 24 hour Random Jandom radio show on 90FM)